I love Sundays because for me it means, church, naps, and lots of TV/movies--at least when I'm home (we have a 3 day weekend because of Passover). So far, I've watched a total of 4 or 5 movies and I can't even count the number of TV shows! Right now, I'm watching Mean Girls on ABC Family; remember that movie? I've seen this movie almost 10 times (not kidding), and I almost know all the lines. ABC Family is airing the clean version, so when Regina George was suppose to say, "Boo You Whore!", I sounded like an idiot when all she said was "BOOOOO!" Hahaha!
This movie made me miss high school, and made me think about Frenemies (friends that are your enemies), and I realized I don't have any Frenemies. I wonder if it's because I always give people the benefit of the doubt and try to see the good in them, or something else. You see, I'm the type of person that if I see you and we are friends, but I don't like you, I will let you know, and hope you change your ways. I've only had one time in my whole life that I had to tell someone I didn't like them. I think this is the best method to deal with someone who you don't like.
The back story behind this incident is that the girl and I were best friends Junior year of high school and we were inseparable. She was a little bit of a wild child and an underachiever and I'm the complete opposite. I care about my grades and I wasn't into drugs or sex--she was into all of that! But, I still loved her as a best friend because we were almost completely blunt and honest with each other (she loved to lie and I hate liars). Towards the end of the year I realized I didn't like the person she was and if she wasn't going to change her ways, then I wouldn't want to be friends with her. The Summer came and although we literally lived 2 minutes away from each other, we never saw each other. Senior year was around the corner and she wanted to know if I would be giving her a ride to school. WAS SHE SERIOUS?! We don't talk to each other for almost 3 months and she expects me to drive her to school?! And once she asked me this I responded, well here's how the conversation went:
"Hey, so are we taking the bus to school tomorrow?"
The back story behind this incident is that the girl and I were best friends Junior year of high school and we were inseparable. She was a little bit of a wild child and an underachiever and I'm the complete opposite. I care about my grades and I wasn't into drugs or sex--she was into all of that! But, I still loved her as a best friend because we were almost completely blunt and honest with each other (she loved to lie and I hate liars). Towards the end of the year I realized I didn't like the person she was and if she wasn't going to change her ways, then I wouldn't want to be friends with her. The Summer came and although we literally lived 2 minutes away from each other, we never saw each other. Senior year was around the corner and she wanted to know if I would be giving her a ride to school. WAS SHE SERIOUS?! We don't talk to each other for almost 3 months and she expects me to drive her to school?! And once she asked me this I responded, well here's how the conversation went:
"Hey, so are we taking the bus to school tomorrow?"
"No."
"Great!"
"Well, I'm not, but you might be."
"Huh?!"
"Well, Sandy* I don't like the person that you've become. You're sex crazy and are into doing and selling drugs and I just don't like the person you are."
"I've changed! I don't do drugs anymore and I'm not having sex that much."
"Yea, well I hardly believe that."
"No, I'm serious."
"Okay, well if you can prove that to me, then we can still be friends."
*Name changed
The conversation ended there, she never spoke to me ever again. And whenever we made eye contact in the hallways, she would look the other way. I was willing to be her friend, but only if she would have just change her ways. Some of you might be thinking, a real friend would have been by her side when she was going through this stage in her life. Well, I was. If you only knew what I went through with her with the year before you would understand. Constant lying, and constant covering for her (she had strict parents). I hated lying to her parents and I hate lying in general because I can't do it very well. In fact, I can't do it at all.
How do you deal with someone you don't like?
Well, that's my point. How do you deal with someone you don't like? Is my method the best or do you just ignore the person? I hope I never have to be in a situation like that again, and for now I'm thankful for my close friends that get me.
The conversation ended there, she never spoke to me ever again. And whenever we made eye contact in the hallways, she would look the other way. I was willing to be her friend, but only if she would have just change her ways. Some of you might be thinking, a real friend would have been by her side when she was going through this stage in her life. Well, I was. If you only knew what I went through with her with the year before you would understand. Constant lying, and constant covering for her (she had strict parents). I hated lying to her parents and I hate lying in general because I can't do it very well. In fact, I can't do it at all.
How do you deal with someone you don't like?
Well, that's my point. How do you deal with someone you don't like? Is my method the best or do you just ignore the person? I hope I never have to be in a situation like that again, and for now I'm thankful for my close friends that get me.
---
Secretista


omg that happened with me too!My friend Ashley was/is into hanging out with 25 year old and smoking weed/drinking every night and didn't care about school. I was the 'serious about school' girl and I HATED hanging out with 25 year olds (honestly what business does a 25 year old have with a high-school senior?) In the end, she believed a rumor about me spread by this random girl I didn't talk to over my side of the story, so I literally stopped talking to her. Honestly, good for you for doing what you did. It takes courage and self-confidence to do it.
ReplyDeletebtw your site made me download what you waiting for!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your story...I definitely watch that movie today, and it's so funny because when I saw the title, I immediately thought to myself, Mean Girls!!!.
ReplyDeleteunlike you, i'm pretty non-confrontational/passive, which kind of sucks, but luckily i'm not stuck in any friendships i don't wanna be in.
ReplyDeletei did have a friend in junior high who i was really close with, until she started having sex with random guys- and to top it off, we were in EIGHTH GRADE. now we're in high school and we have just drifted away into different crowds, and i cant say i'm complaining.
this is such a cute post!
ReplyDeleteyour posts always have really good messages!!
love it :)
thanks so much for the comments as well :)
it means a lottt.
Oh i got SO excited when I came to your page and Gwen Stefani started playing, its such an up beat fun song :D
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you have a lot of confidence and are inspiring a lot of people who read your posts. That is really lovely of you to share your stories and inspire other people to be as strong as you :D
i hate that LIndsay loHAn bitch
ReplyDeleteI can also totally relate but we just ended up drifting apart and my not helping her out any longer
ReplyDeleteHaha you remind me about my 13th or 14th bday:We went to the cinema to watch this film with lindsay lohan :)
ReplyDeleteI liked it!
Mean Girls is finny!
ReplyDeleteGod, that film is one of my guilty pleasures... yikes. I can't believe I just confessed to that!
ReplyDeleteGreat picture at the end!!!
Oddly something similar to that happened to me. The girl and I not only lived down the street together, but we became friends my sophomore year after all her friends dumped her AND we totally went to see Mean Girls together in theaters and decided we were quasi like them, but once I pulled her out of her shell all her old friends wanted to be friends with her again and I didn't like them, so we stopped talking.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I didn't and still don't have very many female friends, I just deal much better with guys (don't worry I'm not a total bitch). It just takes me longer to really trust and befriend females than it does males.
love this post! and i love your approach to the friend problem. very open & honest. i tend to take the ignore approach, but i think your way is better.
ReplyDeletecool post!!!
ReplyDeletehaha i only had a couple of 'frenemies' people who i had to be friends with just to make things easier for me lol and then i had a few friends who i classed as friends but did my head in sometimes.... i have never been in your situation but when i dont like someone im not friendly with them... dont get me wrong im not rude but im not gonna totally kiss their ass like some people did at my school lol.x
Hey girl
ReplyDeletesundays are good but then you start thinking about monday and it turns shit. You really have to keep your head in relax mode, I should not be telling you this I need to be talking ot myself!!
Love mean girls, I haven't watched it in so long!
Your going in my burn book!!!
ReplyDeletesimilar incident, i tried to be candid but the friend wouldn't tell me anything, so much for 6+ years of friendship. i chose to ignore the friend eventually, because i simply decided that i don't deserve to feel unappreciated after all the effort i've put in.
ReplyDeleteand yeah, i am very very thankful for all my other best friends, i love them much :)
The saying "accept them for what they are" does have limit too - especially when it deals with drugs and other things that will just do you no good.
ReplyDeleteThat was definitely the best thing to do when you faced the kind of situation with what-so-called best friend: brutal honesty.
love this post! and i love your approach to the friend problem. very open & honest. i tend to take the ignore approach, but i think your way is better.
ReplyDelete