Monday, July 7, 2008

Monday Obsession: Perfection

I am perfect. When I wake up my hair and makeup is already done. All the boys want me and my body figure is perfect. Pssh, I wish. For the most part of my middle school years, I was obsessed with being perfect. I can't exactly trace the reason for this, other than family. My brother is 9 years older than me and while he was in high school getting scolded for his poor performance, I was an impressionable elementary school student. The fights my parents and my brother would get into would scare me, so after hearing my parents scold him day-in and day-out I told myself that I would never receive a bad grade as long as I live; I didn't want to disappoint my parents. I soon learned that it was impossible to maintain a perfect report card while participating in the numerous extracurricular activities I had on my plate, but that didn't stop me from trying. My strive for perfection eventually reached every aspect of my life. I became obsessed with making sure people saw me in a certain way that if I thought I upset someone for whatever reason, I would beat myself up for days. I once told my mom this and she said, "It's because you care too much about others." Could this be true? 'Til this day I sometimes condemn myself for making mistakes, but I'm slowly learning that perfection does not exist and that I have to live and move on. After all, no one's perfect. Right?

Well, this is why I think I love fashion so much; it's fickle. One year something can be "in" and the next, it's "out". Fashion stands for the complete opposite of me. I am far from a fickle person, so having something in my life that balances my slight obsession makes me feel complete! However, I think the best designers create silhouettes and pieces that are everlasting and well, perfect.

Have you ever found yourself obsessing over perfection?

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